Invasion of the Killer Rats Part IV–the Final Chapter?

It has been quiet in our house. Rat quiet. After the killing of the beast, there have been no more rat sightings. No more droppings, no more running into rats at night – nothing, nada, zip. After one week, we felt it was safe enough to tear down the walls. I mean, literally. We figured that the killer RATS had been (or were still) living under our bathroom drawers. A temptative peep through a whole showed something that looked like a bone. So it was time to dig deeper and finally uncover the whole truth. Leading our expedition was Esteban, our landlord, armed with a hammer and ready to tear down the entire bathroom if necessary. Right behind him (totally hiding) were: our cleaning lady, armed with a broomstick, Sam and myself, armed with our camera and ready to document everything (of course), and our French roommate, armed with encouraging comments.

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Cautiously, Esteban took his first swing at the furniture. It cracked. Everybody stepped back, just in case the killer RATS were about to make a run at us. Esteban started hitting harder and harder, until everything was smashed. I had really expected at least one or two dead rats, but instead there was only an awful smell, a piece of meat and 4 bones – very reminiscent of a BBQ we had at the house a few weeks ago.

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And then, amid the bones and the smashed wood, we finally understood. There were no killer RATS, there was no army of rats out to get us. It had been only one smart rat all along, living off the leftovers of a BBQ, probably having the time of her life … until we killed her, that is. Sometimes, figuring out the truth can be life changing or inspiring, in this case our catharsis took the form of loud, relieved laughter. We had finally defeated the beast!

Until one night, we heard the French roommate scream and scream and scream. “The RATS are back!”, we thought and ran downstairs, ready to kill anything rat-like that came in our way. “What’s wrong?” He seemed fairly relaxed, a little bit too relaxed actually as he was sitting on the couch: “Guys, you HAVE to see this episode of House of Cards. It will blow you away!!!”

The End

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