Dear clouds over Cincinnati,
I can tell that you are all doing well – and that’s exactly why I am writing you this letter. Since I got to the city you have given me nothing but trouble. Don’t get me wrong— you are splendid clouds. However, I am afraid that that is exactly the problem. I don’t want to hurt your feelings, but I have to be honest: there are far too many of you out there! People had warned me about you, but I thought they were exaggerating. They weren’t!
When I arrived, you were very cold. I guess coldness can be normal when meeting somebody for the first time, but I sure would have hoped for a warmer welcome. I didn’t complain (even though it was May and I was freezing) because I thought that with time you would just move on. I guess I was wrong because even though you did warm up towards me, you didn’t keep your distance. To the contrary; I always seemed to have a heavy cloud over my head that pushed the heat down further and further until it became unbearable. I could never see the light at the end of the cloud tunnel. To be fair, you never said anything mean to me, but I knew this was just the calm before the storm. And sure enough, soon after that, I could see you put your heads together to come up with a new idea to get to me. You roared with thunder and flashed your lightning every time I wanted to go out: concerts in the park – canceled, barbecues with friends – postponed, hiking in the woods – muddy, going swimming – impossible. And I keep asking myself: why, why, why? Why do you have to be so mean? Why can’t you just leave us alone? Why can’t you let a little sunshine into my life? And why do you like hanging out over Cincinnati so much, anyway (I know it is a decent place, but come on!)? Of course, you never bothered to answer. I guess my questions were just blown away in the wind. Anyway, I could really use some space here! Maybe you could take a little vacation for the summer months? I am sure there are other parts of the country that you would enjoy tremendously. I hear Vegas is really fun and I am sure people there would be excited to see you guys! Or, what about visiting your relatives in Seattle?? Just think about it. Please don’t blow me off !